therahedwig (therahedwig) wrote in heartless_fics,
therahedwig
therahedwig
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Never once did he ask to stop. (For you: Chapters 4-6)

Title: For You
Author:
XbuttonsX
Rating: One for OoC characters, one for incomprehension of the concept of consent and peadophilia, one for absolutely boring pacing and shitty prose.

I say/Notes: Chapters 4 to 6, in which boy discovers just what happend to get other boy into jail, and still forgives him for it. Seriously, if the previous OoCness didn't drive you away, the sheer skeezyness will.



For You

*Demyx walks in with more snacks then you should be able to carry*

Demyx: You two talking now?
Axel: Yeah, hand over the popcorn.

Chapter Four - Miss You In The Morning

It had been two weeks since the redhead heard from the scarred man and he was beginning to get worried. Saïx had told him it would only be a week and then he would be in touch once more, but he hadn't been. Axel was standing outside of his third period class, pacing in the halls, a nervous habit he had picked up over the week.

Saïx: The icecream palour is closed again I see.
Axel: I'm not that addicted.

"Axel, calm down, would you? You're getting on my nerves. Stop being so obsessed."

Demyx: Even the fic's calling you out for it.
Axel: ugh.

"Shut up, Rox. I need him to call me."

Axel: I NEEED MAI FIIIIX!

"You don't need him. He probably realized that you weren't worth the prospect of jail!"

Axel began to shake, his fist clenching. If he didn't get away from the blonde, he had a strange feeling that he would lash out at the younger teen. Seeing this, Demyx stepped in between the two.

Demyx: *At fic self* Don't do that, don't you have self-preservation?

"I'm sure he's just been busy."

The redhead slumped down on the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest and laying his head in his arms. "I know. I just want him to call." Jumping, Axel yelped when he heard his phone start ringing. He glanced around at the two blondes, glaring at the younger of the two. "Please, speak of the devil," whimpered the teen as he pulled his phone hastily from his pocket.

Saïx: Sure: The devil, evil spirit of prince of evil spirits.

"Axel here."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take so long. Is now a bad time?"

The redhead felt something flutter in his chest as a giant smirk spread across his lips. "Best timing in the world. We were just talking about you."

Axel: Yeah, Saïx, Me Demyx here, we've been talking.
Demyx: We have?
Axel: Yes, you see, we don't think you're fit for this... Seme thing. I mean, not once have you attempted to rape me beyond statutionary rape.
Saïx: ...
Axel: You just seem to lack the enthusiasm. You're really bringing all of us down with you. So I'm afraid I'm gonna have to fire you.
Saïx: That's fine by me. I'll just start a solo career.
Axel: Uhm...

"Is that a good thing?" Saïx sounded worried and Axel could almost see the blue-haired man run a hand through his spikes.

"Don't worry. Nothing bad. Roxas thought that you wouldn't call because he thought that I creeped you out. That I wasn't worth jail-time."

"Well, he's wrong."

Saïx: I was just having logistical problems with preparing my torture cellar.

Axel stuck his tongue out at the blonde, giving him a triumphant look. "See, Roxy. I win. But, wait, you haven't been sent to jail, have you? That's not why you haven't called, is it?"

A soft chuckle from the blue-haired man made Axel's heart soar. "No, my brother's just been keeping me busy.

Saïx: He had some objection against the torture cellar. It's no matter now, and I did get to try my new equipment out.

But I'm free tonight. How about you?"

"I'll always be free for you, babe."

"When do you get off?"

"When you tell me how much I mean to you."

Demyx: too much information.
Saïx: I can't decide if this is better or worse then 'he made me feel like I had a heart.'

Axel could just see the blue-haired man's cheeks brightening. "I meant off of school and you know it."

"I know. I just wanted to tease you a bit. Three thirty."

"Well, don't. The last thing I need is a hard-on at work.

Axel: That turns him on?
Saïx: I would say fic-me has a nasty case of sex-deprevation, but fic-Axel should have taken care of that by now.
Demyx: Obviously, Axel is just a really crappy lay.

How about I pick you up at quarter to four? At our spot?"

"Sounds good."

"I'll see you then, babe."

"Missed you."

"Missed you too."

"I can't wait."

"Me either."

Axel: What's that, I think I can feel my teeth dissolve.
Saïx: That's becase you don't brush your teeth properly.
Axel: oh.

"But I gotta go. Teach is comin' down the hall as I speak. And Roxas looks like he wants to kick me in the nuts."

"I'll see you later, Axe."

Axel: LLLLLLL

"Love you."

Axel hung up before the man could respond, rocketing to his feet, feeling dizzy. Demyx gripped him in a tight hug as he leaned down to grab his book bag. "Ooh! Axel! I'm so happy for you! I'm so glad he finally called you again!"

Demyx: If it means that this fic will be over sooner: *give Axel thumbs up* Go get 'em crack tiger! *Million dollar smile*

"I'm glad too. But, ya'know, that was the first time that I ever dropped the 'L' bomb."

Saïx: The L bomb?
Axel: Lickitung.

Axel shoved his nose into the blonde's neck, peeking up to gauge Roxas' reaction. The younger blonde was glaring away from the redhead, a pout lining his features. Standing straight, Axel moved passed Demyx. "Rox, which are you more jealous of; the fact I have someone that really cares about me or the fact that it's not you?"

Axel: uuuh...
Saïx: I think fic-you is attempting to collect a harem.

Roxas didn't answer the redhead, taking that opportunity to follow the teacher into the class. Demyx glanced between his two best friends, the smile slipping from his lips. "Roxas?" The elder blonde looked up at the redhead as if asking permission before darting off to comfort the younger teen.

Axel knew he had stepped out of line, but he didn't care.


Saïx: How peculiar.
Demyx: What?
Saïx: Fic-Axel manages to be even more of a dick then Axel is.
Axel: He still doesn't hold a candle to Xemnas.
Saïx: True.

The fact that he was going to be with his boyfriend again after two weeks overpowered everything else going through his mind. He followed the two blondes, but stood dumbly when he realized neither of them were in their regular seats, instead opting to sit on the other side of the classroom.

Demyx: I like this, this is nice and sensible.
Saïx: Don't get used to it.

"Axel, take your seat, please," ordered the teacher behind him. Stiffening at the sound of the voice, Axel nodded, moving towards his normal seat.

The rest of the day moved by so slowly that Axel was shaking with anticipation by the time Saïx's car slid up beside him. The blue-haired man noticed this and raised an eyebrow towards the teen.

"Everything okay?"

"Just some high school drama, babe. Nothing to worry about." As he buckled himself in, a pout etched itself on his lips.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Emerald orbs swiveled over to the blue-haired man. Again, he found that hand snaking onto his knee, squeezing to prove to him that there was still someone left that cared.

Saïx: Or just wanted to molest him.

Axel moved his hand down to entwine their fingers while Saïx began to head around the school, driving by all the students that awaited their buses. "I ... It's just Rox. He's determined to say that I shouldn't be with you and that I should take it slow and all this stupid bullshit that I don't want to put up with. What does he know? He's never been in a relationship. Hell, I bet he's never been in love with anyone but me."

"Maybe he just misses you. He could be worried, you know. I might seem like some type of deranged rapist to him."


Saïx: He does.

"Can't rape the willing," tried the redhead, gazing out the window to watch his classmates slide by. The grip on his knee intensified for a moment before loosening.

Axel: You can however, have incredibly skeevy sex with the willing.

"I'm glad, though, that you're trying to help."

"I don't want to see you sad."

Axel smiled, swinging his emeralds back over to lay on the man. His gaze lingered on the blue-and-red stripped tie that rested over the man's chest and his mind couldn't help but wander to all the things that the duo could use that garment for.

Axel: Bungee jumping.
Saïx: Rope skipping.
Demyx: Rythm gymnastics.

"So, you've been busy with work?"

Saïx glanced at the teen, mildly surprised by the change of subject. "Yeah. Deadlines and readjusting. It's tough to get back into your schedule."

"How long have you been back?" Meaning out of jail, Saïx. Pick up on it.

Axel: Axel's Mind to Saïx's Mind, do you come in, Saïx's mind? over.

As though he already knew what the redhead was asking, Saïx bit his lower lip.

"Well, I've been out of jail for three weeks now. So, back on the job the day I met you."

"And ... you said it was your brother that had hired you? But ... I thought he was the one that hurt you."

Once more, the grip tightened on his knee as the owner of the hand winced.

Demyx: Tightening, untightening, there's some serious hand-porn going on there.

"We'll ... talk about that later. When I'm not driving."

"Good idea. Where are we going, anyways?"

A shrug. "Dunno. You choose. I just wanted to spend some time with you. Don't have any homework, do you?"

"Even if I did, I wouldn't bother with it. I'm still broke, so, it's up to you."

Axel: I'm gonna do a bachelor in mooching, you see.

"Of course the drop-out gets stuck with the pedophile."

"I'm not a drop-out and you aren't a pedo! I'm eighteen soon!"

Both were smirking at the other and Axel flicked out his tongue, licking seductively at his lower lip.
"Mmm, eighteen can't come soon enough. Okay, stop that. You're distracting the driver.

Axel: *faces Saïx, wiggles his tongue* blelelelele
Saïx: Yes, very sexy.

How about we go rent a couple movies and I take you back to my place? Unless you have parents that would worry about you..."

Axel snorted. "Yeah right. My mom? Care? You're kidding, right? Most nights she doesn't even come home herself. All she does is pay the bills."

Saïx: It seems your mother has chosen the best path and ran out of this fic while she could.
Axel: Oooor the fic-author couldn't be bothered to deal with these nasty people called parents, that can call the police if their 17yo son is running around with a paedophile.
Saïx: Your mother ran out of the fic.
Axel: That works too.

"I wish I could say you're always welcome to spend time at my place, but that wouldn't work out well with the officer."

Saïx: No parents but still a parole officer?

Axel shrugged, but began drawing circles on the back of the man's hand. "It's alright. Five and a half months. Then we can spend all the time you want together. Besides, I'm used to it."

"So, movies, supper, and other ... activities sound good to you?"

Saïx:Other... activities?
Demyx: Twister!

Axel bit his lip once more, smirking. "You cookin'? Because I know my way around the kitchen pretty well for a ... an eighteen year-old."

At the red light, Saïx leaned over, kissing his redhead quickly, just long enough for them to feel how much the other needed them, but not long enough to draw attention or for the blue-haired man to miss the light.

Saïx: However, it was long enough for the other drivers to start beeping their horns.

Soon, they were laughing and joking with each other about which movies they would get, flicking through the racks of best-sellers and unheard of 'hits'. The drive to the man's house was a blur and the next thing Axel realized, they had found their way into the blue-haired man's bedroom and Saïx was lapping at his neck while he desperately clung to the elder, pulling him close just to feel their bodies connect.

Hearing his name moaned from desperate lips, Axel groped closer to the elder man, needing to feel them as a whole.

Just laying still, craving the other's heaving body beside them, neither spoke, afraid they would destroy the feeling. Saïx was the first to move, twisting and leaving a soft kiss on the redhead's parted lips. "I'm going to make supper. You hungry?"

"I thought I was gonna be the chef."

"Next time, you get to cook for me, love."

Axel bristled at the nickname,

Axel: *Bristels like a horse* Neeeighn Prrr.

but curled into the touch of the elder. "Make me fall even harder for you and you might just regret it."

Axel: You see, because then I would hit my head so hard I'd die from blunt force trauma, and then you'd be convicted for murder.
Saïx: Ah.

Saïx just chuckled, leaving another gentle kiss with his lover before moving away. Axel whimpered, just a little - even though he would never admit it. Hearing that small little noise, Saïx smirked, feeling his insides melt.

Following the man, picking up his boxers as he went,

Axel: Hoh, wait, there was a sex-scene just now?
Demyx: And you call me stupid.

Axel watched as Saïx prepared supper. It was nothing fancy, but it was the first time that Axel had had something that he hadn't made in months. After he was finished moaning about how it was delicious

Demyx: It's good that this isn't a porn fic.
Axel: Eh?

and the two had eaten a simple dessert of Sea Salt ice cream, they moved into the living room,

Demyx: It's very good that this isn't a porn fic.
Axel: Eaw.

Axel curling into the elder once the first movie had been placed in for viewing.

"Axe ...

Axel: LLLLLLLL

I hope that it isn't two weeks until we get to be together again."

The redhead leaned up, kissing at the elder's lower lip. "It doesn't matter. Even if I get to see you tomorrow, I'll still miss you in the morning."


Axel: But then I would remember Saïx snores, and would be happy he wasn't there!
Demyx: Saïx snores?
Saïx: I do not snore.
Axel: Yes you do.

To Be Continued

I like that last line. It makes me happy inside. What do you think?

Demyx: It's kinda meh...
Saïx: I don't know how long I can tolerate this sickenly sweetness.

~xbuttonsx~
For You

Chapter Five - Secrets

Axel: Ooooh, secrets!

"Axel, would you take that stupid thing off? It looks stupid!"

The redhead quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "How many more times do you wanna say stupid, Rox?"

"Just take it off."

"See, told you that you wanted me."

Demyx: Why do I have the feeling this'll turn halfway through into AkuRoku?
Saïx: That would be a good marketing strategy.
Axel: After all, Saïx's old.

"The tie, dickwad."

Axel ran his fingers over the soft, silken tie that hung around his neck. It was the one that his lover had worn three and a half months ago on their second date. The two had had several dates over the months, the most recent having been the night prior, where Axel had asked to bring the tie with him, as a memento and a way to keep the blue-haired man close to him.

Saïx: In short, Axel stole my tie when I was drunk.
Axel: Hey, if you ask it isn't stealing.

Now he was walking through the halls with the tie falling down to his belly with one of his flirtatious skin-tight shirts hugging to his frame.

Demyx: It showed off all his ribs!
Saïx: I can't help but imagine a banana yellow one with Hello Kity on it.
Axel: Then don't.

"I like this tie, thanks."

It was then that Axel noticed the eyes that fell onto him. The redhead stopped in the hall, facing the teen that was glaring so heatedly at him. "Zexion? What's your problem?"

Zexion:*poofs in* What? where? *looks at the screen* My problem is that I'm in the sporking theatre, obviously.
Saïx: It's work-safe.
Zexion:*Looks at others* Good.

The two had once been friends, but that seemed like forever ago. The slate-haired teen had gone to Roxas' fourteenth birthday party in August and then disappeared for the remainder of the month, coming back in September, a completely different person.

Zexion:Like a nobody?

The slightly younger teen was still glaring at the redhead. No, he was glaring at the tie that was wrapped around his neck. The words he spoke were more spat than anything. "Where did you get that?"

Axel: At the store, where you buy ties!
Zexion:I don't know what is going on, but there seems to be a plot.
Saïx: Only barely.

Axel cocked his head to the side, puzzled. He fingered the tie that draped down his chest. "What, this?" He waited for that head of quiet slate hair to nod quickly in affirmation. "I got it from my boyfriend. Why?"

Zexion:Ah, Akuroku.

Zexion visibly tensed and for a moment, Axel was slightly reminded of his blue-haired lover.

Zexion:Not akuroku. *Smiles* It's even better then that.
Saïx: I wouldn't laugh if I were you.

The thought quickly brushed by him when Zexion shoved his way passed, the first human contact any of them had seen for years. Curiosity peeked, Axel turned, starting after the teen before Roxas gripped his wrist.

"Don't bother with him. Just take the damn thing off."

"But, Rox, I wanna -"

Demyx:♫I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want?♫
*Crickets chirp*
Zexion:*looks at others* Fine, for this once. So tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Demyx: ♫I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.♫

"Take it off!"

"You just don't like it because Saïx gave it to me!"

Saïx: As opossed to not liking it because it's ugly.
Axel: Or other sensible reasons.

Axel spun around on his heel, glaring at the blonde that he had miraculously made up with.

Demyx: Yeah, definitely miraculous, that.
Axel: 'Dear author, a plothole won't count as filled if all you do is emphasize it.'

Roxas glared right back, but didn't speak. The word that was spoken sounded out from behind them. "Saïx?" Facing the anti-social teen, Axel crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?"

"I think it's best if you leave my uncle alone, Axel."

Demyx: *Whips out sitar* ploink-ploink-PLOIOIOIOINK!
Zexion:Uncle?
Axel: Really?

The redhead stood, struck into a trance. "Y-You're ... uncle?"

Zexion:Wait a moment, am I the uncle?

"That is what I said."

Zexion:That's not what I said at all.

"Saïx? With blue hair and a scar on his nose? That Saïx?"

Zexion:No, the one with the black hair and the missing arm.
Axel: Oh, good, I was worried there for a sec.

"Yes, that Saïx." Axel could see that the name alone sent a shiver over the younger teen. "I gave him that tie three years ago, a few weeks before he went to jail. Stay away from him, Axel. He is nothing but bad news."

Zexion:Yes, do stay away from him, it's in everyone's best interest.
Axel: You should've told me a year back.

Axel could feel the smug smirk drilling into his back, but he could barely breathe as Zexion's words crashed over him. "I know what he went to jail for. It doesn't bother me. He's not a bad person."

Zexion:What did you go to jail for? In the fic I mean.
Saïx: Peadophilia.
Zexion:Oh, all right. No wait, that is definitely not all right.

He didn't know who he was trying to convince anymore. Again, a shiver rolled over the younger teen.

Zexion:Oh come on. Is there ever a fic where I don't end up as a rape victim?
Demyx: Huh?
Axel: Stop spoiling the plot.
Zexion:But the foreshadowing is as subtle as an anvil.
Axel: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to know yet.

"It doesn't bother you? You know, and it doesn't bother you? What type of monster are you?"

Axel: A bombmonster!
Demyx: Goblin!
Saïx: Behemoth.
Zexion:Asshole.

"What should I care if he touched some kid the wrong way a few years ago? I'm not some kid and we're happy."

"It wasn't just some kid -"

Saïx: It was...
Axel: Sora.
Demyx: Kairi!
Zexion:Xion with the rope in the winter-garden.
Saïx: ...

"Whatever. I'm not having this conversation here. With you. An almost total stranger for the past three years."

"Axel!"

"Leave me alone, Zexion."

"Stay away from my uncle!"

Axel glared at the teen. "Why do you care? It's not like our being together hurts you at all." Zexion flinched as though there had been fire in Axel's words.

Axel: There had been, and Zexion had to go to the infirmary to treat his burns.

"He'll hurt you, Axel. He'll take advantage of you and make you hurt."

Zexion:Make you hurt, what? English grammar?

"He can't take advantage of me if I'm willing to do whatever he wants me to do." Axel's head was spinning, snippets of conversation with the blue-haired man ringing in his mind.

Saïx: *As fic self* This'll be our little secret.

They hadn't mentioned why he had gone to jail or how he had gotten his scars or even why his brother was working him so hard. It didn't matter to Axel anymore. He didn't care.

Axel: Ayup, I really really don't care. Infact, don't bother to write about it anymore.

It was something that happened years ago. And he wasn't some kid. He could handle himself. He cared about Saïx. Even if no one thought it a good thing, he cared about the elder more than he had ever cared about any of his other boyfriends before.

Saïx: How lovely, Didn't the first chapter enstablish your other boyfriends were one-night stands?
Zexion:Poor Axel, so attention deprived that his ideal boyfriend is a child-molester.

Saïx was different.

"He hurt me; he'll hurt you, too."

Demyx: Oooh, scary. Wait, who is saying this?

-Snip- Oh noes, Axel doesn't know anymore and runs outside -snip-

Saïx wasn't some pedophile that went around raping little children.

Axel: yes, if there's anything Saïx quite definitely hasn't done, it's raping little children... real Saïx that is. Fic-Saïx is kinda sleazy.
Saïx: I'll take that as a compliment.

He cared.

Axel: ehh...*frowns*

He was just like any other person that Axel had met. He was normal.

Axel: Considering most of the people I meet are kinda bonkers...

He just had sex with a fourteen year-old.

Axel: Yeah, like I said, sleazy. But wait!
*generic celebration music starts blaring out of the theatre-speakers*
Axel: YOU JUST HAD AN EPIPANY! *points thumbs up and smiles a million dollar smile at the screen*
Zexion:*Whispering to demyx* I think he's been here too long.
Demyx: *back* well duh.

Axel collapsed down on his bed with a thud, feeling his heart pounding in his chest after running the short distance to his house. Adrenaline coursed through his body and he felt like he was going to be sick, Zexion's voice now pounding in his ears. Saïx had hurt him? But ... Saïx cared.

Axel: Don't revert back now.

His mind stayed on high-alert and frantic for the remainder of the day until sometime after the supper hour, Saïx called him.

"Hey, babe."

Zexion:*plainest face possible* This is a fantastic piece of literature.
Axel: *Tries to hit him*
Zexion:*Is too far away*

"S-Saïx?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to ... I need to talk to you."

"Oh God. I don't like the sounds of that."

Saïx: The sound. Axel is noisy, but not that noisy.

"I don't ... I don't think it's me breaking up with you."

"You don't think?" Saïx sounded skeptical, hiding the hurt and worry that was coursing through him.

Axel: *grabs Saïx by the shoulders* THE HURT AND THE WORRY, DO YOU FEEL IT?
Saïx: *hits axel*
Axel: Ouch.

"I don't know. I just need to talk to you."

"We're talking now."

"No. I need to talk to you in person. I need you to tell me in person." Axel felt like he was on the verge of tears, but he didn't understand why. His mind had been racing and he had come to so many absurd conclusions that he just had to know for certain. Two and a half months until his birthday. Already he had been with the blue-haired man for three and a half months but he still had yet to find out what stories the skeletons in his closet would tell him.

Demyx: I think Jack Skellington would just prattle on about holidays, like usual.

"Axel? Calm down a little bit, okay, babe?"

-snip- bla bla bla Saïx comes over -snip-

To Be Continued

Oh, cliffie! What do you think is gonna happen?

Axel: The end of this fic!
Saïx: We still have thirteen chapters to go.
Axel: They're all blank, obviously.

Chapter Six - Truth

As he was greeted at the front door of the redhead's living space, he was denied the 'good-to-see-you-again' kiss that he normally placed on the teen's lips. Instead, Axel moved back, appearing to be in some sort of shock, shaking slightly. He closed the door after his guest and could do nothing more than stare at the man.

"Axel? Is everything okay?"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong? About what?"

Axel: About Santa not existing. *sadface*
Saïx: Santa does exist you dolt.
Axel: Oh yeah...

Axel pressed himself back against the door. "About Zexion. About everything." Saïx visibly cringed with the mention of the slate-haired teen.

"Zexion? What about ... Zexion?" The blue-haired man was on edge now. Axel cowered, feeling an argument brewing. He hated fighting with his friends or lovers, but he couldn't pretend anymore.

Demyx: Axel, if you hate fighting so much.... then why do you provoke your friends?
Axel: I have no fucking clue at this point.

"C'mon." Axel turned away, slinking off to his room, Saïx following behind him. The redhead curled up next to his headboard, cringing when the man sat a foot away from him. "Zexion's your nephew, right?" Saïx took in a shaky breath before nodding. "He told me to stay away from you today. That you had hurt him. Is that true?" Another delayed, forced nod. "He's my age, you know. He gave you this tie, just before you went to jail. Three years ago. That would make him fourteen, right? He was fourteen when you went to jail?"

Saïx bristled. "It's not what you think, Axel."

Saïx: I'm sure this is all just one big misunderstanding.
Zexion:Obviously, fic-me just thought he was being raped!

"I'm not done." Axel stated, monotone, curled into his ball, knees to his chest, his arms locking them in place. Saïx stilled, staring at the floor so that he wouldn't have to show his weakness to the teen. "His dad - your brother - hurt you. You said it had something to do with your going to jail." Another stiff nod before the man tried reaching out to the redhead to comfort him. "Don't touch me!" He snarled viciously before his eyes grew wide, realizing what he had just done.

Axel: You are standing up for yourself, that's what you're doing.

"I mean ... do you think now's the best time to be touching me? I ... I'm really confused right now."

Axel: Wuss.

"What do you think happened, Axel?" Saïx had withdrawn his fingertips quickly; almost afraid they would have been bitten off by the furious teen. Said teen whimpered, worry written all over his features.

"I'm gonna be blunt."

"That's alright. I just want you to know what really happened."

"You raped Zexion. You raped your nephew and that's why your brother wanted to hurt you. That's why you went to jail. Zexion trusted you and you betrayed him. He was fine at Rox's birthday, but then a month later he wouldn't talk or anything. He was broken. It fits, right? But it couldn't have been like that because that is ... that is ... I don't know what the hell it is, but it isn't good! But that's why you were so nervous whenever you would drive around the school. You knew that Zexion was around there somewhere and you would see him and things would turn out bad, right?" Axel was shaking and it was taking every fiber in Saïx's being to not just wrap his arms around the boy.

"It didn't happen like that."

Zexion:No, I was actually being silent because I had joined the drama club, and was pretending to be a horribly traumatised child.
Demyx: I see...

"But it was still Zexion."

"Let me tell you what really happened?"

Axel fell silent and Saïx took that to mean that the redhead wouldn't interrupt.

Saïx: Ah, such out of characterness.
Axel: *Jabs Saïx with his elbow*

"Zexion and I got along, really well and I had a cabin on a lake a few hours from here. I decided to take him up there so that he would have a quiet place, because I knew that he liked his quiet."

Zexion:I do?

Saïx peered at the redhead, catching sight of blank, emerald orbs

Axel: I think we need ot have a drinking game just for those orbs all the time... *Summons shotglasses*
Saïx: No, because then you'd be drunk by the end of the fic, and if I'm going to be sober, you've got to as well.

just staring straight ahead. He himself was quivering, feeling strange to finally tell his tale to someone. "We spent a few weeks up there before school started and we would go swimming and boating and he would read or study or whatever he did. We had fun."

Saïx: *fic self* Yes, those children, always doing newflangled things like studying.

Saïx took a deep breath, glancing once more at the redhead to see if he was still okay. "Then I decided to throw a party on the last day we were up there.

Demyx: Saïx throwing a party?
Saïx: My other perhaps would have.
Axel: Problem would be nobody would have come.
Demyx: Ah, so the whole organisation would be there then?*Gets hit*

There was a lot of alcohol circling around and I managed to get hammered.

Saïx: I'm astonished at fic!me's sense of responsibility.

Zexion was the only sober one by the end of it. I had even offered him something, but he refused.

Zexion:Why, I too am astonished at fic!me's responsibility. *Smiles*

He seemed so nervous. Everyone left in the early hours of the morning, leaving just the two of us."

Another deep breath. Axel felt a pang in his chest, able to see exactly what the blue-haired man was telling him. Unable to take it any longer, he edged his foot just a little bit closer, wincing when it made contact with body heat. Saïx knew not to press his luck and kept his hands to himself.

Axel: They couldn't have, they couldn't have decided to play a game of goose!

"Zexion came over to me where I sat on the couch. He told me that I looked about ready to drop and if there was anything he could do to make it better.

Saïx: *fic-self*Yes, go to bed, you're fourteen.

It was then that I noticed how close he was to me. Almost in my lap. I didn't answer, trying to preoccupy myself with business-related things,

Saïx: *fic-self*And ofcourse I just pushed him off, like a responsible, albeit drunk adult.

but nothing seemed to work. A neighbor that had been at the party had been flirting with me, leaving me with something that I shouldn't have had around the kid."

Axel was beginning to get nervous now. He could almost see how it would play out.

Axel: So can we, unfortunatly.

"I remember that he noticed my hard-on and he smiled cockily. He asked if he could 'help me out with that' and the next thing I knew his hand was down in my lap. I didn't ... I didn't realize what was going on at the time, but the next thing I knew, I had him pressed down on the floor, moaning and going on like someone who had never felt sex before. But, of course he wouldn't have. He was only fourteen."

All: ...
Zexion:Okay, Saïx got drunk even though he was supossed to take care of his newphew...
Saïx: who then proceeded to rape me.
Zexion:And then Saïx raped him in return?
Demyx: This fic is getting confusing.
Saïx: Why did fic!you fall in love with fic!me again?
Axel: You remembered my name, remember?
Saïx: Ah, yes.

Saïx paused, his own eyes now glazed over in remembrance. Axel could tell that he regretted what he had done to Zexion.

Saïx: Afterall, I could've acted responsible and wouldn't have gotten drunk, so I didn't have to be in jail.

"He didn't realize how badly it would hurt for a new kid getting pounded by a drunk man and started crying, every so often asking if I could make it stop hurting. Never once did he ask to stop.

Zexion:that's still rape isn't it.
Saïx: I am hurting you without premission during sex and not doing anything about it even though asked. It's not consensual anymore at the least.
Zexion:Good, much less confusing.

I don't know if I would have been able to, but he didn't ask me to.

Zexion:Still rape.

He knew what he was doing. I didn't even know who it was pinned beneath me.

Axel: It's official: Fic!saïx is either a retard or a creepy fuck.
Saïx: How about both?

Not until the next morning when we were getting ready to go home. Then I saw everything replay in my mind and I yelled at him. I asked him how he could let me do such a thing to him or why he hadn't gotten me to stop.

Saïx: I don't know, maybe he did, but the adult man on top of him wasn't responding to 'it hurts, it hurts' and was probably to heavy to throw off as well.

I asked if he knew how much trouble I could get in.

Demyx: *as Saïx* Yes, they could take away my parking space!

He wasn't smiling. He wouldn't even look at me. I know he regretted it.

"When we got home, the first thing he did was run to my brother and tell him that I hurt him while we were away. He told him his own version of what happened. That I had forced him down when he was minding his own business.

Zexion:How dare I be traumatised.

That I had done it more than once. That I didn't stop when he asked me to. All lies.

Saïx: Because, he had not asked to make it stop, no he had asked to make it stop hurting. Totally not a reason to stop.

But to my brother, it was his precious son's word against his drunken weirdo for a brother.


Axel: Okay guy, tally time! Who's Zexions dad? I vote Xemnas.
Saïx: COnsidering all the cutting, Sephiroth.
Demyx: Uhm... oh what was that guy called again? Auron!
Zexion:Ansem, obviously.

He called the cops before coming at me with a butcher knife."

Axel: Well, I wouldn't imagine the old guy to be that violent.
Zexion:He can be nasty, but he's more of the 'I'll make sure your cell mates know you raped a child' kind of vengeance.
Saïx: Just where did he get a butcher knife anyway? Those things are rare in modern day society. And the guy works in advertising.

Axel shivered. Maybe he hadn't been ready to know all of this. "But Zexion was broken. When he came back, he was broken." His voice was small, as though he was trying to portray how broken Zexion would have been.

Axel: *Plays smallest violin in the world* *Is only making screeching sound*
Zexion:Stop that, I've heard tomcats in heat make nicer sounds then that.
Demyx:♫ Everybody, everybody, everybody waaants to be a cat.♫

"The trial weighed down on him heavily. It was hard on him. In the end he refused to speak to the judge or even the lawyers. But they already had enough on me. I was thrown in jail and Zexion broke. I don't claim that I am innocent. I did have sex with him. But it wasn't like I knew any better. I would never have done anything in my right mind to hurt that boy. Do you believe me, Axel?"

Axel: No.
Saïx: Good boy.

Axel tensed, coiling in closer on himself. He hadn't heard his name in a while and he had thought that Saïx forgot about him. "I ... I think. I think I believe you. But he was your nephew!"

"I was drunk. I didn't know any better. But I told you that I was horrible. I'll leave now, if you want me to."

Axel: Yes please.

"No!" The word was out before Axel really knew what the blue-haired man had said. "I don't want you to go. I want to know if there's still a way we can be together."

Demyx: Seriously, why do you like this guy again?
Axel: Because he remembered my name.

"Even after you've learned all this? I'm a monster, Axel."

Axel: *Casts cure on himself* *as fic Saïx* Look at me Axel, I'm a monster!

"I know. That's why I want you to touch me right now. To show me that I can still love you even though you've done all this bad stuff."

Saïx: Nevermind, these two deserve eachother, they're equally stupid.

Saïx stiffened, unsure of what the redhead was asking. Seeing the hesitation, Axel forced himself to uncurl, taking deep breaths to keep himself calm. The blue-haired man held out his hand, shaking with anticipation. "Touch me. Don't grope me or anything. Just, like, touch my arm or something. I don't want to be disgusted with you, but, if I can't handle you just touching my arm, how can I be your boyfriend?"

Saïx: We could just have a non-physical relationship?
Axel: Silly Saïx, all that matters in a relationship is the sex!

Saïx nodded slowly, closing his eyes before he could see Axel's disgusted reaction. But all he could feel was the warmth coming from the teen's skin as his fingers dusted over the limb, resting on the redhead's bare forearm.

Axel's breath hitched and he stiffened, but loosened slowly, letting his breath hiss through his teeth. "Fire." His voice held the hint of tears.


Saïx: What?
Axel: It's my element!
Demyx: It's what happend to the house when all this exposition was going on.

"What?" Saïx opened one golden orb, confused by the relief in his lover's voice.

"I still feel fire when you touch me."

"I'm guessing this is a good thing?"

Axel: Well, it kinda hurts really.

"The best." Axel smiled sheepishly. "Kiss me?"

Axel: I like being on fire *sets himself on fire* Wheeee!
Zexion:This explains so much.

Saïx stiffened once more. "Unless you don't want - mff" Axel was cut off when Saïx desperately pressed their lips together. The teen moved his other arm up to wrap around the blue-haired man's neck, making sure he couldn't break away. When they both needed air, Axel panted into the elder's neck. "I ... I can forgive you for what you did to Zexion. I guess I was right and it didn't matter to me. Just don't leave me, okay?"

Zexion:You can forgive him?
Axel: Let's just add this to the list of things to ignore, with 'orbs' and the twenty thousand times fic!me says he'd never betray Saïx.
Zexion:Kinda big thing to ignore there.
Axel: Yeah, but all the jokes have gone stale.

Axel began to worry when he didn't receive an answer until he felt Saïx's fingers dancing around his waist. "Axel, I think I love you." All Axel could do was moan as his lips were taken over once again.

Demyx: Axel and Saïx are kinda dim in this fic. :)
Saïx: Thank you Demyx.

To be Continued

Okay, so, I know that it might be bad for Axel to be okay with it, but, he's someone that lives in the present. Keep that in mind. Comes up a lot.


Axel: Don't we all live in the present?
Zexion:I think that was supossed to be a metaphor.
Axel: Pfeh, besides, that confirms this Axel is totally different from me.
Saïx: Really now?
Axel: Yeah, can't exactly give a damn about anyone I don't have a past with, right? Besides, the present sucks.

~xbuttonsx~

Cid: Alright, break!
Demyx: Yay! *Stretches himself*
Zexion:Twelve chapters left.
Saïx: Axel?
Axel: Huh?
Saïx: Promise me that you won't date someone who raped someone else and gives the excuse that it wasn't within their control.
Axel: *snorts* sure.

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