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In Which Halloween part II is late because shut up, time travel

Titlecostume fun
Author: lonelylovely
Rating: The spelling and grammar alone warrant two shadows, and that’s not even getting into the literally incomprehensible story, the character rape, and the sex (despite the K+ rating). I’m very tempted to call troll.
Full names: Sora, Kairi and Riku.
Full Species (es): I’m sure they’re something.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Assumed Canon, though the author insert has purple hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Assumed Canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None
Special Possessions (if any): Sora has a dress and a ‘vail’, Kairi has a top hat and a ‘kain’, and Riku has a topless cowboy outfit.
Origin: Hopefully in the mind if a sporker, a la Hi Roxas
Connections To Canon Characters: Are Data versions of them, inside DiZ’s badfic simulator.
Special Abilities: Riku cannot tell gender.
Other Annoying Traits: I have absolutely no idea what is going on at all.
 
I Say/Notes: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, for my sake… did any of you out there in spoker land write this? Is another chapter going to mysteriously appear in which canon characters swoop in and save the day? Should I be looking for the secret code hidden in the third letter of the eighth word of every sentence?
Is this a troll? Or did someone actually write this?
 
We open to our Spooking Theater, where our team is listening to Axel’s story with rapt attention.
Axel: -and then Isa started singing, and before I knew it, I was back in the Scarspork.
Riku: So, wait… it was Sora and Scar?
Roxas: And what was that thing about me being a baby?!
Axel:… Okay, you guys have no focus.
Kairi: I get it!
Axel: Thank darkness.
Roxas: So you’re stuck in a Groundhog-Day loop of badfics? That’s, like…
Axel: Terrible?
Roxas: I was gonna say karma, but that works too.
Kairi: Well guys, it looks like we have a mystery!
Riku: Zoinks.
Kairi: And I have an idea!
Axel: Anything; I don’t want to spork Titian Heat part II or something.
Kairi: Well, you said that you only remember doing one part of the Halloween Sporks last year?
Axel: Yeah?
Kairi: And now you’re back sporking the others?
Axel: Yeah?
Kairi: Well, it’s obvious what happened; you cheated!
Axel:… What?
Kairi: Obviously, you were slated to appear in four sporks, but only came for one. This is clearly the Theater just making up for lost time.
Roxas: See? Karma.
Axel: So… if I spork the fic, I’ll get back to normal?
Riku: That’s what the lady said.
Axel: ROLL THE FIC! ROLL IT ROLL IT ROLL IT-
Rolling it
 
Costume fun
 
Kairi: Oh that reminds me! Axel, you promised!
Axel: I did?... Sure, okay. *poofs* There; I’m Batman. *is wearing a bat logo*
 
The cold crisp air nipped at riku slightly,as he walked down the dark and bustling
 
sidewalk
 
Kairi: Did the spork goof up the format?
Roxas: *checks the script*… Nope. It just has terrible spacing.
Kairi:…. *groans*
 
"why did Halloween night always have to be so damn cold, he laughed coming up
 
with his own explination"
 
Riku: Riku shall now speak in the third person.
 
to punish the ho's that wore little bittie mini skirts to show off there
 
ass"
 
Axel: Yar, there be ass!
Riku: And I spent my formative years hanging out with Kairi; I’m cool with miniskirts.
Kairi: Aw, thanks Riku-
 
although he enjoyed it from time to time,(he was thinking about kairi) it was a little bit
 
annoying.
 
Kairi:… *pulls her skirt as low as she can and curls up* Nevermind.
 
Sora and kairi started walking to the party around eight and it was almost eight-thirty
 
by the time they actually started to hear the sounds of laughing and music
 
(sora kept triping and stumbling over his dress that kairi had talked to him into wearing)
 
it was a very long, white, poofy dress that made him look like a bride, the white and light pink
 
beads that outlined the the seams trailing off on the sides to make flowers designs
 
glintinted in the moonlight as they walked down the path , kairi laughing the whole way
 
walked next to the idiot ,dressed in a top hat and black coatails and capris with little white
 
gloves to match twirling a kain in her hand to past the time.
 
All: *gaping*
Roxas: Is… what… I… what…
Kairi: MY EYES! Is that one sentence?!
Riku: Triping? Glintinted? Freaking KAIN?!
Axel: TROLL IN THE DUNGEON! Also, wholesome crossdressing.
 
They finally reached the steps! they could now sing along with the band inside.
 
Kairi: Oh, I guess we’re part of a band.
 
kairi begin to walk up the stairs to the door sora picked up the front of his gown and followed
 
palms sweaty with excitment.
 
Axel: And hairy with sin.
 
"stop being so nervous "kairi said in a teasing tone
 
"but this is my first..."
 
Roxas: Gee, I wonder what the metaphor is.
 
"your gonna be fine" kairi laughed again and shook in a sora your such a goodie goodie manor
 
Axel: Yar, Kairi be talkin’ like’ee pyrate.
Riku: And I’m pretty sure Goodie-Goodie Manor is where the Gummi Bears live.
 
and then turned to open the door.
 
"yeah lets go"sora scratched his head still uneasy
 
"KAIRI,HEY KAIRI"a girl yelled suddenly kairi turned around almost jabbing her kain into sora
 
Kairi: Those misspells are going to get really annoying, really fast.
 
"come over here for a second..."
 
Axel: *psycho strings*
 
kairi walked back down the stairs, sora following but before he could get off the first step kairi
 
stoped him.andand
 
Riku: *in a little kid voice* And and and blueberries and and waffles and then and then he and then he went WHOOSH and then and and…
 
"you go on in ,ill be there in a second"she lifted the vail and put it over his head .
 
Roxas: She put his head in a valise?
Axel: A vial?
Kairi: A vale?
 
"you make such a beautiful bride sor-chan," she laughed
 
Roxas: And there’s the clincher; we got ourselves a badfic.
Riku: And I think that actually makes his name longer.
 
sora blushing wildly, watched as kairi made her way down the path to meet her friend she was
 
talkin as soon as she reached the landing.
 
Roxas: And she was neeever heard from again.
Kairi: Wouldn’t surprise me.
 
he the turned and walked to the door or a guy...
 
Axel: He couldn’t really tell.
 
he made a effort to grab onto something as he fell holding out his hand hoping to grab
 
something
 
riku caught the hand of the girl lifting her back to her feet just in time she was very pretty in
 
her gown he thought it would be a shame if it got dirty.
 
Roxas: Did Sora just trip into another fic?
Axel: I’m starting to think that I may have broken reality.
 
"there you go"he smiled as she looked at him for a breif moment sora felt a rush burst in
 
him,riku's eyes met his.
 
Riku: If looks could kill…
 
"sorry,exscuse me..."a girl with long purple hair edged her way between sora and the door
 
unexpectidly, sora fell in riku yet again
 
Roxas: *as Kairi* What do you mean you had sex with him on accident?
Axel: *as Sora* Sure was nice of him to break my fall like that…
 
riku laughed, "careful now..."
 
sora's hand landed on his bare chest (bare because he had decided to go as a topless cowboy
 
Kairi: And you were scoffing at the tiny miniskirts?
Riku: Hey, kettle, pot here; you’re black.
 
XD a chance to make riku whatever i want him too be for halloween you know i'm not passing
 
that up)
 
Kairi: I bet the comments will think up ten sexier outfits.
Roxas: According to the sporker’s notes, he’s offering a prize for whoever does.
Riku:… Uh…
 
again he looked deep into those beautiful eyes, he was so close now that he could
 
hear his heart beating
 
"you look very pretty, kairi"he whispered with a smile and with that he was gone,
 
disappearing thru the doorway and into the crowd.
 
Kairi:… *looks at Sora!Roxas*
Roxas: *looks at Kairi*
Kairi:… No. No way. Sorry, I’ve got better hips. Hmph.
Axel: Among other things *thwacked*
 
yay, ok so this is half my story so far , what do ya think lol i sorta got into yaoi's
 
Kairi: AHHHHHHH! *pulls her hair* MAKE IT STOP!
 
-snipping the Authors notes, which is literally just an anecdote about her boyfriend-
 
i'll shut up now and let you read some more
 
Axel: Only no, you won’t, because the chapter’s over now. So, as I was saying-
Roxas: The chapter’s not over.
Axel:…What.
Roxas: We still have about three pages left.
Axel: But we just passed the Author’s Notes; that means the chapter is over.
Roxas: *glances at the script*… Nope. In this fic, they’re just kinda floating in the middle.
Axel:… *looks up*… THIS IS HELL.
 
Sora stood there confused by what had just happened.
 
Riku: Well, yeah.
 
The rush had turned into a sinking
 
feelin in his stomach, his face began to turn red the last moment playing in his head over and
 
over again..
 
Roxas: *robot voice* Restoration at… error; divide by zero- OHSHIIII-
 
"Shake it off sora ,"he told himself "your not a..."
 
Kairi: Homophobia? In our slashfic?
Axel: Just wait ‘till Christmas and the goddamn skull-f#©|<ing robots.
 
or was he? kairi never made him feel like that, this was all so confusing maybe he should let it
 
go an pretend it didnt happen, he decided walking into the party..
 
Roxas: *as Sora* OH MY GOD, I might be gay- oh shiny.
 
at first it looked like a dance party/rav people were everywhere screaming and dancing
 
(lots more)XD sora wilded his way thru the crowd of people trying to make it to the neares t
 
bunch of wall flowers he could and join them.
 
Kairi: Someone call Vexen; I think we just found the anti-life equation.
Riku: *as Sora* Dancing, screaming, oddly-dressed crowds of strangers… now, was that a party, or an asylum?
 
It was harder that it lookded
 
Axel: Just like sporking.
 
"Sora over here..." kairi yelled from across the room
 
sora looked across the sea of strange costumes to see kairi motioning him he smiled and
 
walked over..
 
"hey finally,"she giggled kissing him lightly on the cheek, yep he was reassured he was
 
all guy and all he wanted was girls lol
 
Kairi: *rolls her eyes* Because gay guys aren’t real men.
Axel: LAWL, silly Kairi, bears are just myths, like the G-Spot!
 
for the rest of the night he danced and laughed talking
 
to as many people as possible except one he could feel riku's eyes stairing a hole through him
 
Riku: I’m beginning to think I should have dressed as Superman, given that fanon thinks I have heat-ray vision.
Kairi: Hotter-than-a-topless-cowboy-costume#14…
 
"he probably still thinks im kairi, that jerk ,"sora thought trying his best to keep no eye contact
 
Axel: No eye contact, just keep moving-
Roxas: No thank you! We’re fine, really! *under his breath* Just keep walking…
 
"hey, sora will u go get us somethin to drink"kairi smiled at him
 
Kairi:… *pulls her hat over her eyes* Nope. Not even gonna look anymore.
 
"umm sure"he started off to the kitchen, trying to remember
 
what kairi said that she wanted,"Was it fruit punch and ice or no
 
ice"
 
Riku: I think she ordered a tall glass of, and I quote, ‘somethin’.
 
he thought as he walked down the the dark hal and past the closet.
 
Axel: And guess who was hiding inside?
Riku: *as Dark Hal* I’m sorry, Sora; I can’t let you do that Sora; heal this Sora *dark aura*
 
-Sora gets a drink and realizes he’s being stalked-
 
he listened carefully they were about a foot away, "it was too heavy too be kairi,
 
Kairi:… Thanks?
 
to small to be a serial killer who makes special trips too halloween
 
partys,
 
Riku: You must be this tall to commit mass murder.
Roxas: And that’s why I spike my hair up. *is just tall enough*
 
but just right to be a very sexy guy, just looking to let out some tension and appetite on what he thought to be a girl", sora smirked at
 
this.
 
Kairi: Even without the snip, I have no idea what’s going on.
Roxas: It’s just words! There is no meaning!
 
Every fiber of his being just wanted to give in now but his mind kept telling him to keep going dont turn around you'll just get hurt when he
 
finds out your not what he wanted, sora begin to walk once again his legs like jelly.
 
Axel: The Rob Zombie remake of Mrs. Doubtfire took a weird turn around Act II, didn’t it?
 
Riku kept his eye on sora the whole time, his body trembled too but not with fear of what sora would say but with want and need until every
 
step he took he could imagine the taste of him.
 
Riku: Well, I guess Nagas make any spork scarier.
 
He staired at sora's body (he wanted to make him squrm in delight but just what way could he do
 
it)
 
Axel: You could try constricting him and then eating him.
 
the way he was walking he could tell sora was well aware of riku's presence now it was time to make a move..
 
Roxas: King to A5!
Kairi: Blast! Checkmate!
 
"hey sora," he whispered loud enough for him to hear,
 
Sora turned around to look at riku his hand loosened around the cups of punch.
 
"you look very pretty"riku shifted and moved closer
 
Roxas: *as Sora* OW!
Riku: Sorry! Two left feet!
 
"then you know im not a girl,"sora tensed-up awaiting what he would say.
 
Axel: *as Riku* Meh, an ass is an ass.
 
Just then sora felt riku put a hand on his waist, he shivered but it felt good. He pushed him against the wall now the punch in his left hand droped
 
Kairi: So long as he doesn’t drop my somethin’.
Roxas: *as Sora* AH! Cold hands, cold hands!
 
as riku moved closer to his lips. The shiver now turned into jerks but easy ones, sora moved closer too, he layed his hand on riku's familiar chest
 
Riku: How is it familiar if we’ve just met?
Kairi: I think everyone’s at least somewhat familiar with your abs.
 
and just let it happen(droping the other punch on riku slightly). Riku began to kiss sora's neck and chest rather than his lips again whispering
 
little taunts in his ear as he did.
 
Roxas: So now you’re Mohammad Ali?
Riku: Well, I did handcuff lightning and throw thunder in jail.
Axel: And you’re about to show Sora how great you are.
 
Sora move his hands across riku's back and waist nibbling at his ear, moving to his chest. Sora licked his way
 
Axel: He told me to LICK THIS WAAY! Suck d!©k this way!
 
across riku chest stopping once or twice to play and tease him which made riku moan slighlty and forget what he was doing to sora
 
Kairi: The Absent-Minded Seme, coming soon to Blu-Ray.
Riku: Starring Robin Williams?
 
until the
 
pleasure was to great he lifted sora up and took him to the nearest closed space the closest.
 
Axel: Didn’t you just come out of there? Make up your minds!
 
The small room was darkand riku had to open the door back up just to see how to lock it.
 
Riku: Er, wait, hang on, lemme level up my lockpick skill…
 
He then took back where he left off just
 
doing more (sora liked it with all the lights off and not knowing what was what)
 
Roxas: He just wants to stick his finger in your belly-button.
 
riku began to unzip sora's dress and as it droped so did he moving
 
sora closer to him. riku knew sora would probably taste good
 
Kairi: What flavor would Sora be?
Roxas: Badfic says chocolate, ‘cause of the hair.
Riku: Naw, his spirit color’s red; gotta be cherry.
Kairi: I think he’s strawberry, since he’s sweet.
Axel: I always pictured him tasting like flesh.
Kairi: Spoilsport.
 
but not this good he supposed that when you wait for something so long it has too be
 
great,
 
Axel: Just like Duke Nukem Forever!
 
sora moaned each time riku went down and squrmed(just like riku wanted) each time he added something special...to really make him jump
 
Roxas: The secret’s in the sauce.
Riku: It’s vinegar; I use it in all my kissing.
 
"sora had never had these feelings before it was like riku knew exactly what to do," he whispered
 
Roxas: Sora also gets hot and bothered over the third person limited omniscient point of view.
 
and ruffled riku's hair until riku stoped and stood up
 
turning sora around...
 
Kairi: And led him right out because this fic is rated K+.
Riku: Really? Oh, good, I was worried that-
 
entering the tremebling brunette he placed his hand on sora side to get a nice start and began to move faster sora was
 
now shaking, this is what he wanted from the first moment he fell into him, riku's thrust got faster and harder until sora began to shudder riku's
 
breath was now shallow and weak,but still wanting to continue he felt himself coming and then colapsed on sora who turned and kissed him softly
 
in praise.
 
Riku:… That was going to happen.
Kairi: What?! But- but-
Roxas: TOS violation! On top of everything else, they literally break the rules!
Axel: I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again; TROLLLLLLLLLLL!
Roxas: WELL, IT’S WORKING!
 
They layed there together cooling off still holding each other wraped in sora's dress which surprisingly covered them both,
 
Kairi: Did it used to belong to Ursula?
 
The sounds of
 
people began to weak as the hour went by, neither of them wanted to move,
 
Axel: So they spent the night in a stranger’s closet.
Roxas: Sounds like your last Halloween.
Axel: Belle was awful nice about it, really.
 
riku turned his head to sora and kissed him on the forhead as sora
 
looked up.
 
"we have to get up soon", sora answered the question on riku's mind he looked sad about this
 
Riku: But I was gonna scare the guy when he went to do his laundry!
 
"i know", riku sighed and kissed sora one last time for the night
 
they stayed there like that just a few moments longer...
 
Axel: And then died. Well then, as I was saying-
Roxas: Axel, we still have the Author’s notes.
 
ok so u finished it
 
-The rest of the Author’s Notes have burst into flames-
 
Axel: No, we don’t. So, there, community service complete. Can I go back to my own time now?
 
All wait, but nothing happens
 
Axel:… Now?
 
Nope
 
Axel:… Now?
Kairi: Axel, I don’t think it’s gonna work. I… I must have been wrong.
Axel: *sags*
Riku: Well, uh… there’s always the long way back, right?
Axel: Do I look like Draco Malfoy?
Riku: *sighs* It was worth a try.
Roxas:… *Duh moment* Hey, wait, time travel, right?
Axel: Yeah?
Roxas: Why don’t we just go bug Luxord?
Axel: *leaps up* Why didn’t I think of that?
Roxas: ‘Cause you’re an idiot. C’mon, let’s go!
Axel: HA! I knew that old limey was good for something!
*both depart*
Kairi:… So, uh… Trick ‘r Treating?
Riku: Meh, why not?
*Both depart, ignoring the calendar as they do*
Calendar: *reads…. October 29, 2010*
Dun dun duuuun.
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It took me a few reads, but eventually my brain caught up and I figured out what was going on.

And darn it, I thought you all were going to be more creative. Curse you all for not salivating over fictional teenagers!

Deleted comment

Sorry. LJ choked on a bit of coding there. Take 2, action!


I totally "Squee!"-ed when I noticed there was a new post by you. XD Yaaaay, time travel hijinx!

Roxas: And what was that thing about me being a baby?!
I see what you did thar. I will find a way to reference you back for this. Somehow.
...as soon as I can bring myself to spork this part because DEAR GOD IT SUCKS. Gah.

Riku: *in a little kid voice* And and and blueberries and and waffles and then and then he and then he went WHOOSH and then and and…
I totally pictured that just now. D'aww. XD

Kairi: I bet the comments will think up ten sexier outfits.
Roxas: According to the sporker’s notes, he’s offering a prize for whoever does.
Riku:… Uh…

...it's kinda sad that I considered this for a second.
I'll say “Elite Beat Diva” and “Klavier Gavin” and leave it at that.

Kairi: Homophobia? In our slashfic?
Axel: Just wait ‘till
Christmas and the goddamn skull-f#©|ing robots.
Oh, god. It's been months, but that fic still has me go “D:” for the ending. I mean, shit, man, if we read through that much suck, we deserve that happy ending.

Kairi: *rolls her eyes* Because gay guys aren’t real men.
Axel: LAWL, silly Kairi, bears are just myths, like the G-Spot!

The Bara genre has successfully hidden from fanbrats thus far. Go, them!

Roxas:… *Duh moment* Hey, wait, time travel, right?
Axel: Yeah?
Roxas: Why don’t we just go bug Luxord?

Ten Euros says Luxord turns out to be the mastermind behind all this.
LJ ate my coding twice. It must be racist.

Really? I'm squeeworthy now? My status as a d-list internet pseudo-celebrity is cemented!

And thus begins the infinite loop of references to one another! (And have faith, my dear; you will make that fic funny.)

Doubles as a reference to Manly Guys Doing Manly Things, in which it is just as adorable. Ah, children.

Oh come on, really? I thought I was dealing with (ex)fangirls here! Where's your sense of exploitation?

I still have mixed feelings about that fic. In actuality, I found the unhappy ending to be the best part, in that it exemplified just how hard it can be to be gay in a culture as conservative as Japan's without being terrible preachy. Still ruined Christmas though.

Bara fangirls are the best fangirls, because Bara fangirls realize that a man is still a MAN, regardless of sexuality.

I will take you on that bet.
Multiple choice continuity is awesome. (And yeah, someday. When I can get myself to keep reading that thing for longer than twenty seconds.)

Just googled that. There goes my entire afternoon. XD

Well, the Phoenix Wright kink meme seems to suit my sense of exploitation just fine.
Challenge accepted! [insert image I'm too lazy to google here]
* Elite Beat Diva (just look at the one on the right here. Those uniforms leave little to the imagination).
* Kamina.
* Klavier Gavin (is actually on the TV Tropes page for Memetic Sex God. Hell, he used to be the page image once.).
* Miles Edgeworth (not so much Launcher Of A Thousand Ships as plain old Fandom Bicycle. "If it's breathing and in the Gyakuten series, it'll get shipped with Edgeworth. It's inevitable.").
* Jack Sparrow.
* The Doctor.
* Code Geass-Zero.
* Kiba (Wolf's Rain).
* Sho Minamimoto. (Now that we've got a free pass for crossovers pretty much every Squenix-game ever...)
* Silver. (Where is that Memetic Molester comic with Silver ripping the Rocket uniform off the player character when you need it?)
Ten costumes. There, I'm done. :p

True. I can't remember the last time a non-bishie managed to get paired with someone in badfic. Lexaeus, maybe? In the Zeku Girl one? Eh. *Shrug.*

Aww, but I thought I finally got it! Ah well, it's more fun this way. XD
Hello, favourites! Good luck on Baby Roxas, :P Also, I'm seconding your vote for Minamimoto. Apperance-wise, it really suits.
So excited for Part III of this thing, too~ For costumes... Any of the three boys from Devil May Cry! Dante especially, if we're going to be fanservice-y, but they all have good looks and outfits. His Xehanort/"Ansem" form could even rock a pretty damn good Arkham, in personality and style, though that doesn't necessarily fill 'sexier'. Just vastly more interesting.
That avvie is all kinds of awesome. It's so very true. XD
As a laboratory research student, I should really know better, but I actually do tend to pick the prettiest graph if I can choose.


*Google.* Ooh. Wow. You're right, Dante fits pretty much perfectly. XD
I'd second the Xehanort-Arkham too, but bad things happen whenever he shows up in badfics, so... yeah. XD
Lately I've thought that Riku could dressed as Batman. Then he and the rest of the Destiny Islands trio could make it a theme and go as the DC Universe Trinity. Sora would be Superman, and Kairi would be Wonder Woman.

It would be even better if there was a DC Universe crossover badfic to go with it but when I checked I don't think there is one.