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17 September 2012 @ 06:23 pm
Nix: All right, everyone. This is another Kingdom Hearts oneshot which I found. However, I snagged this one from Quizilla, not FF.Net. That fact alone should tell you a little about its quality. This fanfiction is an OC/Zexion ‘love story.’ After playing "Kingdom Hearts: 3D" I have become slightly more lenient about pairing fan characters up with the Organization. However, as this fanfiction was written back in 2009, she does not have the same excuse that the fans have now. Therefore, I will be sporking this without 3D in mind.

The Suethor’s name is ShininStar619. You should remember that username for later, as my first multi-chapter fanfiction sporking is going to be from her.

Moar Kingdom HeartsCollapse )
28 December 2011 @ 08:49 pm
EDIT TO ANNOUNCE: We have a new community over at Dreamwidth! Please direct all future sporkings that-a-way!

More Editing! Your new mods/maintainers are clockworkpussy and plotmaster. The comm--and its fate--is now in your hands.

Hey, sporkers. Your friendly neighborhood only-mod-alive speaking. Now, as most of you are aware and some of you might not, I'm not a maintainer of this community, and the only maintainer actually left the internet quite a while ago. I don't have the ability to make any major changes to the comm or appoint anyone else as maintainers/staff.

That being said, LJ hurts my eyes now so I've fucked off to Dreamwidth along with the few RP's I'm in. If you guys are willing to put up with the potential of a much slower acceptance pace, I can and will still approve/reject sporkings straight from my email so I don't have to look at this disgusting layout. Otherwise, I'd highly recommend creating a new comm, just as we did those oh-so-many years ago when the trolls got in and spammed guro pics all over our front page. It wouldn't be the first move this comm has had to go through.

Let me know what you guys would prefer.

TitleThe Sweetest Poison
Author: Princess of Rose

Rating: Just one little shadow. The characters aren’t terrible, the spelling and grammar are good and there’s no inane fangirl chatter in it. However, the entire plot revolves around Demyx being a peacekeeper by merit of being a Dhampir. It works about as well as you’d think.
Full names: Demyx Kawa, Axel, Zexion, Saix, Larxene, Rai, Fuu and Xion.
Full Species (es): Dhampir, Vampire and Human, respectively
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blond
Eye Color (include adjectives): Assumed canon (or acceptable vampire substitutes)
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Fangs, naturally.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx has an armband that does all of squat.
Origin: Vampire Knight, apparently.
Connections To Canon Characters: Actually seem to be them... for the most part.
Special Abilities: All those neat vampire powers that everyone except Demyx has because this universe hates him.
Other Annoying Traits: Everyone seems surprised when Demyx absolutely fails at stopping super powered, bloodsucking monsters from doing what they want.

I Say/Notes: This fic isn’t bad, really, especially given when we have sporked in the past. It’s certainly not as bad as most vampire fics out there, and it seems very self-aware. In fact, half the reason I chose this fic was that it wasn’t as bad as the other vampire fics. That was two years ago now, and I never finished the spork because, in the end, I almost felt bad about it. However, now I have my Time Travel story arc, so this spork actually fits perfectly. So, if you can, check out the fic proper if you can overlook the silly plot points, and then go enjoy Halloween.

And have a happy one. Even if it is Christmas by this point.

In Which Axel misses Christmas, is an alarm clock and attempts to poison DemyxCollapse )

In Which Demyx is a Dhampir peacekeeping high school student and Vampires are Civilized monstersCollapse )

The rest will be up ASAP. It would have been done tonight, but LJ hates me as usual. 

Current Location: Christmas Town
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Title: For You
Rating: One for OoC characters, one for incomprehension of the concept of consent and peadophilia, one for absolutely boring pacing and shitty prose.

I say/Notes: Chapters 4 to 6, in which boy discovers just what happend to get other boy into jail, and still forgives him for it. Seriously, if the previous OoCness didn't drive you away, the sheer skeezyness will.

Seriously Saïx, would it kill you to be responsible?Collapse )
21 December 2011 @ 12:41 am
Title: For You
Rating: One for OoC characters, one for incomprehension of the concept of consent and peadophilia, one for absolutely boring pacing and shitty prose.

I say/Notes: I'm a bit of a Saïx/Axel shipper, a pairing which I like for being about two adult men, who could possibly have a healthy concensual, equal relationship, if it weren't for their respective issues and past. When I found this, I found the opposite. So I figured it be great to spork, now I'm a year further, and I'm only halfway done(Mostly because in between the crap-peaks it's just incredibly boring). There's some really stupid shit in this fic, but for now I'll present you with the first three chapters, in which 'boy meets boy' and their respective characters are murdered to make them fit the seme-uke mold.

In which boy meets boy...Collapse )

This is gonna be a long ride you guys! Stay tuned for part two!
First spork, so critique is welcome.
07 December 2011 @ 03:08 pm
Title: Baby Roxas.
Author: hexpinteas.
Rating:  ANSEM as of today. Rating-details are in part 1, but this part introduces the complete and utter character-mutilation of Larxene. We'll get to her in a minute to see why this fully deserves the Ansem.

Special Possessions (if any): A pink fluffy “girly” pillow, a bottle, a “straw basket full of jars of paint, brushes and paper”, a yellow painter's suit, a bath house (?!), yellow floaties, pink glittery shampoo, light blue soap, a baby wipe, baby lotion, baby powder, “yellow diaper rubber pants” (whut?), a tv with a show that has “sock puppets singing and dancing the alphabet”. Note that like 95% of these things were produced by LARXENE OF ALL PEOPLE. Yes, Larxene.
Also featuring as of now: Larxene's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGSTY PAST and... “a small heartbeat”. What.

Sporking Crew: Axel, Larxene, Marluxia, Vexen and Zexion.
I Say/Notes: ...if I can protect one person, ONE SINGLE PERSON, from suffering brain-scarring from this fic, then I should officially be promoted to sainthood or a reasonable equivalent thereof in every major world religion. All of my sins, past, present and future, will be abolished and I shall move on to heaven regardless of what else I do in life. This is how bad the fic just got.
In unrelated news, SPORKING CROSSOVER CONTINUITY! That is all.
Unrelated unrelated news, yes, I know it took me forever and five days to finish this part. This is because my sporking-muse took a look at this thing and committed seppuku. Also because I may or may not be totally addicted to the Phoenix Wright kink meme now.   ...don't judge me.
In more unrelated news, sorry if I screw up on the formatting somewhere. LJ HATES me and insists on moving the post-box-thingy around so I won't be able to see what I'm actually doing.

PART UNE, or "Why Zexion Should Never Have Free Time, Ever".
PART DEUX, or "How Is Roxas Not Dead Yet?!".
PART TROIS, or "Larxene Gets A Wangsty Dark And Troubled Past".
PART QUATRE, or "Axel, Demyx and Xigbar Play With Their 'My Little Roxas' Doll".
Note: Updates shall be posted on Dreamwidth. I won't be updating the previous parts on LJ anymore, so go over there for the rest of this spork whenever I manage to update this.

... *Weeps.* LARXENE! What did they DO to you?!Collapse )
Titlecostume fun
Author: lonelylovely
Rating: The spelling and grammar alone warrant two shadows, and that’s not even getting into the literally incomprehensible story, the character rape, and the sex (despite the K+ rating). I’m very tempted to call troll.
Full names: Sora, Kairi and Riku.
Full Species (es): I’m sure they’re something.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Assumed Canon, though the author insert has purple hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Assumed Canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None
Special Possessions (if any): Sora has a dress and a ‘vail’, Kairi has a top hat and a ‘kain’, and Riku has a topless cowboy outfit.
Origin: Hopefully in the mind if a sporker, a la Hi Roxas
Connections To Canon Characters: Are Data versions of them, inside DiZ’s badfic simulator.
Special Abilities: Riku cannot tell gender.
Other Annoying Traits: I have absolutely no idea what is going on at all.
I Say/Notes: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, for my sake… did any of you out there in spoker land write this? Is another chapter going to mysteriously appear in which canon characters swoop in and save the day? Should I be looking for the secret code hidden in the third letter of the eighth word of every sentence?
Is this a troll? Or did someone actually write this?
In Which There is Wholesome Crossdressing and Rouge Angles of SatinCollapse )
In Which Sora is mildly homophobic and Axel discusses the female anatomyCollapse )
In Which Sora and Riku bone and break FF.Net TOSCollapse )
Current Mood: tiredtired

Title: Baby Roxas.
Author: hexpinteas.
Rating:  Four Shadows. Rating-details are in part 1.

Special Possessions (if any): I'll be updating this one every chapter, looks like. A “blander”, volcanic rock pudding mix, “black shadow balls” implied to be the Dusks, Zexion kept the notebook from the last part, Demyx has hammerspace popcorn, Xaldin has a hammerspace camera, Marluxia has a hammerspace rose and Roxas now has... *deeeep breath* lots of baby toys, a crib in the corner of his room with a halo over it with sheep that “hanged” by the strings, new blue carpeting with big yellow stars and red hearts all over it, stuffed animals on the windowsill, a rocking chair and a diaper changing table with lots of drawers.

Sporking Crew: Axel, Roxas, Larxene, Demyx, Lexaeus and Zexion.
I Say/Notes: Baby Roxas: Part 2: Electric Boogaloo: THE PAIN CONTINUES. And dear lord, do we suffer. And by “we”, I mean “I”, since you cruel, heartless bastards are making me read this unsporked so you can have a good laugh. Well, SCREW YOU. *Is perhaps not entirely rational.*
Apologies for Fail!Fontsize. Stupid LJ.

PART UNE, or "Why Zexion Should Never Have Free Time, Ever".
PART DEUX, or "How Is Roxas Not Dead Yet?!".
PART TROIS, or "Larxene Gets A Wangsty Dark And Troubled Past".

Pity our poor helpless sporkers. And me.Collapse )
20 October 2011 @ 12:24 pm
Title:  (Removed by request)
Author: (Removed by request)
Rating For the spelling/grammar, characterization, and plot. It’s bad, but harmless.
Full names: Sora Jones, Kairi Vallin, Riku Colin, Roxas Kuchi, Donald and Goofy
Full Species (es): Human, Werewolf, Human, Human, Duck and Dog-Related.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown, Pale Red, Silver, Blond, Assumed Canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Kairi’s sparkle, but otherwise canon.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Well, Kairi’s a ‘pale red head’, which seems to imply that she was decapitated…
Special Possessions (if any): Lycanthropy
Origin: Transylvania.
Connections To Canon Characters: Are Were-versions of them.
Special Abilities: Werewolf stuff.
Other Annoying Traits: None that stand out.
I Say/Notes: This theme was a choice between this and a Mary-Sue fic; the Sue-fic at least had passable spelling. Other than that, though, this is just harmless pit-drivel.
In Which The world is a war place and there is Time Travel (again)Collapse ) 
In Which Donald and Goofy actually appearCollapse ) 
In Which Kairi loses her head a bit and Axel explains the situationCollapse )
Current Mood: rushedrushed